Like many people, I've struggled severely with body image for more than half my life. I’ve detailed my journey from crushing self-doubt and internalized fat-phobia to the confident woman I am today in many articles for Refinery29, including my most recent takedown of the term “flattering.” Because of my candidness, people often ask how I was able to adopt the body-friendly mindset I have now, as if there’s one magical tip I could offer to transform the way they view themselves. Everyone has their own road to walk — no two people's personal progress is identical. But one of the first things that set me on my positive path was reading plus-size style blogs.
When style blogging first became a thing, I felt like I could never be part of that scene, considering the websites I’d frequent were filled with lean women who could “pull off” outfits that I’d never dare wear. So I dug deeper: I knew there were tons of people out there who looked like me. The first plus blogger I found was Gabi Gregg, then known as “Young, Fat & Fabulous.” The fact that she had embraced the word “fat” enough to put it in the title of her site stirred something inside me, and I devoured every post she had. Seeing a woman shaped similarly to me wearing everything I wanted to was all the motivation I needed to actually begin my own blog. And though some people and websites knock on bloggers — see Vogue ’s recent bloggergate — I still find them inspiring.
That's why I gathered confidence-boosting tips from some of my favorite plus fashion bloggers ahead. Their advice is both unrivaled and relatable, and it'll remind you that no style risk is too daring — and that, if you haven't already, it's time to start wearing what you want to.
Alysse Dalessandro,Ready To Stare
"Your size, shape, or body type isn't an indication of your worth, and it shouldn't dictate your personal style. Confidence isn't about living up to anyone's standards but your own, so forget all the rules and limitations: If you like it, wear it!"
Photo via @readytostare.
"[Tell yourself] positive affirmations, especially in the morning. I know I'm the most critical of myself in the a.m. — I don't like my hair sometimes, I change my outfits often, I'm constantly questioning myself. I make sure to stop amidst the chaos, bunker down in front of a mirror, stare myself straight in the eyes, and reassure myself that I'm beautiful and strong and I have the tools to make it through the day. Without fail, I can immediately go into my closet afterwards and pick something that I feel great in. This also helps in dressing rooms when things are not fitting and I start to get down on myself; I stop just before the downward spiral and look in the mirror, take a deep breath, and smile at myself. It makes the victory of finding items that I love that much sweeter, because I not only look good on the outside, but I've hyped myself up on the inside all day."
Photo via @kellyaugustineb.
"My go-to confidence boosters are accessories. I'm a lazy dresser, so adding a hat, necklace, or a pair of sunglasses can really help take my outfit to the next level and complete it. Especially a pair of sunglasses. Anytime I put a pair on, I feel like a badass."
Photo via @essiegolden.
Dara Senders, The Style Senders
"In my opinion, there is nothing better than dressing to feel my most comfortable and confident. For me, this generally entails wearing a turtleneck and a well-fitted blazer. I find the classic silhouette of turtlenecks to be very chic and sexy. When I wear one, I instantly feel sharp and ready to rock. Adding a well-fitted blazer or even a leather jacket to the mix completely amplifies my confidence, allowing me to feel as if I can take on the world! This look can also allow you to hide and accentuate your best assets in a very modest way.
"With so many options of each to choose from when shopping, the possibilities are endless. You can mix and match these looks for several occasions, whether it be at the office, a night out on the town with the girls, or even on a date. Separately, both are the perfect staples all women should have in their wardrobes. Paired together and adorned with fabulous accessories, I know you will feel more confident and stand taller when wearing them, like I do!"
Photo via @thestylesenders.
Jeniese Hosey,The Jenesaisquoi
"My biggest confidence-building style tip is to wear what makes you feel good. It doesn't matter if they say it's out or in, if you feel good in it, wear it."
Photo via @jenesaisquoithe.
"My best advice for boosting confidence through fashion is this: Try the scary thing. We all have one daring or rule-breaking item we'd love to try, but they scare the pants off us and so we shy away and stay in our cozy, comfortable bubble. I have to say through personal experience, there is no greater freedom than to realize just how NOT scary the scary thing is. For me, crop tops were my 'scary thing.' I loved them, and I'd see babes rocking them of all sizes, but I felt too exposed and vulnerable to give it a stab myself.
"So how did I break through? I took baby steps; I'd wear it around the house, take pics, post them to Instagram, and bask in how cute it looked. It took a while before I could go out in public with one on, so I continued with my baby steps and I eventually tried wearing one out of the house by pairing a lace slip underneath as an extra barrier of protection. Turns out that looked wicked cute and helped me feel more confident in this bold garment I had been lusting to rock for so long. I'm now 100% comfortable rocking the crop, but I find I still go back to that look with the lace, because it's waaaay cute!"
Photo via @margotmeanie.
"I'm a big, self-proclaimed repeat outfit offender. I have a handful of tried-and-true looks that I wear over and over again, not only because I love them, but because I love the way they fit, make me feel, and how they express my personal style. I love to play with new styles and silhouettes, too, of course, but sometimes the best thing for my confidence and self-esteem is sticking to what has become a classic for me. My leather moto jacket is definitely part of that formula!"
Photo via @nicolettemason.
Pepper M. Martin,Pretty Plus Pep
"Know your 'power color.' It's been proven that color can affect our mood, energy level, and overall personality. Every woman should feel this way when she rocks her 'power color.' For me, it's yellow, blue, and burgundy; when I wear them, I feel confident, happy, and unbreakable. Explore your closet and experiment with different shades to find out which make you feel confident and ready to take on anything."
Photo via @prettypluspep.
Emily Ho, Authentically Emmie
"These days, my confidence comes from standing out with my style, when I previously thought the solution was to blend in. I love wearing a bold print when I need an extra boost of energy and confidence. It says to people, 'I am not here to fade into the background!'"
Photo via @authemmie.
Marcy Cruz,Fearlessly Just Me
"Fit, fit, fit! For me, it's all about fit. I spent years struggling to find clothing that fit well and wearing the wrong size because I was fed that fashion 'rule' that if you're plus-size, you should wear baggy clothing to cover up your body. I spent a long time being miserable and not being confident. Now I know better.
"When I wear something that fits my body well, I feel so confident and beautiful. I feel free and walk with my head up high because I know I look good and that, in turn, makes me feel good. When I'm constantly tugging at things and adjusting parts of my outfit, worrying if my skirt is revealing too much for my liking or about my buttons pulling at the bust, I don't feel good. I feel uncomfortable and distracted, and that totally kills my confidence. I have also found that if I find something that fits well, it will inspire me to try new prints and colors that I may have shied away from before. That just adds to my confidence even more."
Photo via @fearlesslyjustme.
Misti Schindele,Misti Michelle
"Whenever I need a little confidence boost, I wear 'power colors.' These are the colors that make me feel awesome, sassy, chic, stylish, and sexy. During the fall-winter months, I tend to reach for pieces that fall into the dark plum to wine color range. When I wear them, I instantly feel my mood lift and like I can conquer the world."
Photo via @mistimichellexo.
K ristina Uriegas-Reyes,Twee Valley High
"Style is about self-expression. Never let 'Fashion' (with a capital F) dictate your sense of creativity. No matter your size, wear what makes you feel like your truest self. Whether colorful patterns or an all-black wardrobe, there's no one way to dress. That's the beauty of living in a world with such awesome, diverse style."
Photo via @tweevalleyhigh.
Rikke Klint,Sticky Sweet Danish
"Whenever I need a confidence boost, I put on a banging lipstick. There's no way to not feel badass and ready to conquer the world with bold lips. Red lipstick is definitely my go-to, but I also rock a mean purple or blue when I want to feel extra sassy!"
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